There is a story in the Hindu mythology about the churning of the ocean (of creation) in which there were two by products; 'Vish' poision that Shiv swallowed and held in his throat; and 'Amrit' or the nectar of immortality. After which the ocean was calm and still.
Certain patterns, events, situations, people come up again and again and I suffer due to my short comings.
The short comings in us, again, could be a by product of how we were treated in the past, some events, our own incorrect actions, reactions, lack of wisdom, etc. It creates certain impressions, some side effects, and shapes our personality. These patterns and tendencies in us influence our thoughts and actions. Our actions in turn produce further tendencies, patterns in an endless cycle.
Life's challenges and repeated sufferings are an opportunity for me evolve spiritually and stop this endless cycle through corrective actions, helpful yogic techniques, wisdom, and surrender prescribed in ancient texts. I feel that every experience, this whole life, is a spiritual laboratory to practice the knowledge gained in the class room.
Either I'm willing to take on the challenge as an opportunity and go throught the churning in the washing machine and come out cleansed; or be unaware, suffer; refuse to face it; stay with my short comings, only to delay the issue and face the same blocks in my evolution later.
Then there comes the support of wise, compassionate and dispassionate ones, who are a God sent.
I have been confused and I was asking questions, sincerely and earnestly, like; 'Why am I here', 'What's the purpose of this life?', 'Why am I going through this ...'. I was yearning for an understanding, a clarity, about this present life, it's situations, etc.
I went through a very tough churning recently, perhaps because of long standing Karmas and Vasanas of myself and of others involved. I have a deep desire to close this hologram of Karma that I've created for myself. So it can be said that I brought this churning onto myself. I asked for it! But I have an intense yearning to be free, I want liberation from this! I was willing to go through the washing machine.
Initially the same characters and events followed like a remake of a movie. It was the climax scene where there was passion, emotion, action, intensity. I was injured in the process. But still, I could be a witness, I maintained an awareness. While I was being thrown around in the storm of emotions, and lashed by waves, I tried my hardest to stay afloat. I caught on to what's happening (because I am lucky enough to know this has happened in the past, it's a repeat).
As the churning continued it lead to a lot of pain one day - I feel that was the Vish (poison) coming out. I felt like deep layers of impressions from past experiences of pain in my heart releasing. These had been stored there for long time and fossilized. Certain people came forward suddenly by divine grace to help me. As it started evaporating I felt a deep wound healing. I felt a great relef. It was unimaginable and undescribable!
I thought it was over. Then the next day a great secret message was revealed to me about why I am here in this life, why I'm going through what I'm going through, what would it achieve in my evolution (perhaps I'll talk about this in my next blog post in generic terms).
The clouds cleared, I got to see the whole picture, I got great clarity and understanding. I knew exactly why I'm going through what I'm going through. This I didn't do in the past, suffered and therefore was repeating the same class to pass this time and go to the next class. I accepted with a smile. I was in great bliss. Now I can be fully human. I can't describe, I was on top of the world, I was free as a bird, I was singing, I felt so light, I felt so good. Like we throw our books in the air after a final board exam - freedom! Liberation! :)
"It is said that Krishna was supposed to steal butter. Butter is the final product. The milk is made into curd and curd is churned well and becomes butter. Life is also considered to be like that- life is like milk- life is the process of churning. So many things- events, happenings and instances are churning your life.
Your mind is churned and churned and finally the butter comes, it is the sainthood in you, the saintliness in you. Krishna is stealing the saintliness. This means what? - He loves the saintliness, he loves this mind which is like butter, which is not hard, which has reached its final state. It is cooked well, churned well; it comes as the final butter. He is fond of you when your mind becomes like that. This means the infinity is coming towards you loves you so much that it steals you at any cost. You only have to become like the butter that’s what he steals - the butter." - Sri Sri Ravi Shankar
Om Tat Sat