Friday, September 6, 2013

Cultivating Unconditional Love!

I have had a close friend whom I loved and lost because I could not learn the lesson of unconditional love. The lesson I have come to learn in this life is to give and receive unconditional love. The universe poses and bestows upon us such situations which are conducive for us to learn these lessons and unfold into unconditional love. Another opportunity to learn this lesson will be crafted by the universe for me and this time I approach with awareness.

What is it that I’m experiencing?
It is exactly as has been said above but now it’s time to live it.
Life seems dry and boring like a wasteland without love. An inexpressible yearning for love exists in every single person. We all want to be loved by someone, by everyone. We want to be loved unconditionally, without expectations, demands and control.

Yet our own Ego wants to possess the one we love, we become unaware that we want to control. We have so many expectations which when not met lead to losing the love. Ego always wants to get, more and more, and wants to be satisfied by constant showering of loving praise and attention. We think getting is fulfillment, but it’s a trap for disappointment if not gotten, and craving for more if received. The craving for love that we feel, the thirst so intense, makes us chase a mirage of love. It results in continuous chasing and makes us more thirty and tired.
Aren't we always expecting some love from the one we love?
We love and then want to be loved. We give and want to receive, and in greater amount! The moment this doesn't happen we are heart broken, suffer deep pain, and tears.
We think this is the normal course of love and longing. But it is not. The love and longing in unconditional love is always about the other, in human love it’s always about “me”. The problem is that we are galloping on the horses searching for love, running wild through the forest and getting lost and delusional. We don’t know the consequences; we need to have the wisdom to know where this ends up.

Why do we suffer pain and hurt in love? This is from attachment, moha¸ this is the ego. Love is not an emotion. Initially we may see only the positive and fall in love or become close friends, then slowly, we start seeing the negative and then fall out of love or lose the friendship. But we need to accept the whole person, as they are, both negative and positive. It's easy to love a perfect God, but very hard to love imperfect humans. That unconditional acceptance is true love.

Emotional love isn't true love so it changes, and when it diminishes, there are all sorts of dramas and complications. We are looking for that unchanging, ever lasting love. True love is your own Being, an independent state, free from any external support or need. Emotional love is weak, it is always greedy or begging for love, not knowing what great treasure lies hidden beneath. Unconditional love is the king of hearts; it knows what wealth one already possesses. Isn't there a better road? No one likes to love a weak person, but everyone gravitates towards one beaming of love. But we are stuck in this trap of delusion.

The problem is that we lack awareness. The moment we gain awareness we save ourselves from drowning in pain. It takes great discipline of the heart to turn it towards the higher love, the love that expands and leads to eternal bliss. So this is the practice, abhyasa, moment to moment putting your attention on every emotion, question it, why is it selfish? Fill yourself with your own love; there is plenty of it, that inexpressible feeling of sweet bliss within. It is there. If I let those emotions take hold then it leads to delusion and self-destruction. We are left nowhere and we fall out of love. You see that’s why human love becomes bondage and when that same love is transformed to unconditional love, it sets you free.

Unconditional love is expansion, selfishness is contraction.
Love is our nature, our default state, that’s why we long for it, because we have forgotten. Yet we sense it, we have felt it within, and it emanates from our soul. Like a musk deer through a forest, following a scent that comes from within.
What we need is to maintain that awareness, that connection with the love within, be established in it. Then we will not look for love, but become an expression of it, all the time, in all circumstances, we all kinds of people. That would be an amazing state of being!
And that’s what we long for! Isn't it?

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