Sunday, October 19, 2014

From Guilt to Freedom

I've been seeking to regain that unconditional love that I am and which I have long forgotten. Beyond the wavering love with cycles of attachment then aversion, like then dislike, ups and downs of the limited emotional love of duality...there is a field of love, of oneness where we merge...may I function from there. 

But first I have to start from within - to love myself, unconditionally. After layers of negative inputs, which pained and buried the heart, I have forgotten the feel of self-love. Others words create thoughts which cast shadows of darkness and pain, blocking out the light of consciousness. My heart has to somehow heal and re-emerge. The alchemist has to convert the shadow into light, poison in nectar, and pain back to consciousness. My the negativity burn in the fire of the Yagya of purification.
I have to love myself inspite of my shortcomings, how else will I love others with their imperfections? I have to love myself as God loves me, and love others as God loves them. As my dear friend Nirmal said, constant affirmations of 'I love and honor myself' are needed. 

A friend who's a psychotherapist became a healer for me as she gave me a refreshing new perspective. It was like being given a verdict of innocence. My guilt flipped from years of blame, and I feel so freed! Now to dismiss and dispel that pain as a myth created by false belief, and fill myself with love and light. The more I love myself the more will I spill out onto others, till there is only light and love - only that field of oneness where we all merge!

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