Friday, May 30, 2014

White Water Kayaking

No where to run...No where to hide!
Sometimes life is like white water kayaking...
Tough effort, rough life, and the torrent of the flow...
Don't know if you're heading towards the ocean or the waterfall...

"Jo Bhaje Hari Ko Sadaa"
Oh Lord I've failed in Your world!...failed in every department! 
At this time I search deep within my heart for that Hari that I pray to. Who is He? answer...
"Sohi Param Padd Payega"
Drowning with a domino of problems, misery in every direction, with everyone and everything...that other shore seems lost and non-existent.
"Choodh duniya ke dukho ko, baith kar ekanth mein. Dhyan dhar Hari ke charan ka, to prabhu mil jaaega"
Troubled mind turned numb, I close my eyes. Feeling empty, just an intensity, folding into cocoon, darkness inside. Looking for my soul...
"Dil ka sheesha saaf kar, door kar abhimaan ko."
Where is that Love, that Bliss? Only a blank...void. "I" have to die! That's where life will begin.
"Prem Bhakti ke bina nahi Nath ke ghar jaaega"
Love! where are you? Why do I not feel anything in this state?
"Dridh bharosa mann mein kar ke, jo jape Hari Naam ko, kahata hai Brahmanand beej samaeega!"
That I am! I am that! Brahm Anand, Sat Chit Anand, I firmly believe, then why this Dead Sea within?
"Hari Hari Hari" I surrender! This overpowering pull into a deep dark hole, despair has become tears of prayer. 
And then I think of the divine's love for me, suddenly so immense, blissful, a divine light that cradles me. The warmth of His kind benevolence. And shedding tears of gratitude I bathe in His luminous love. 
With intention I invoke the presence of all my guiding lights and masters, who uplift me with the strength of wisdom and lift me towards His divine love.
Sohi Param Padd Payega...Jo Bhaje Hari Ko Sada!

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